Medication

Still finding the right dose for around my period. Gah this is frustrating. I hit terrible terrible lows. I hate it. 

Eeeewwww

How did I get so fat? When did that happen? OMG. This is gross. Must loose weight and loose it fast. Gross. I hate how I look. I hate how I feel. On Friday I think I am going to join the gym. Not sure how we can afford it but I will make it work. I need to do something and something fast. 

Life

Well I am quitting McDonalds for sure now. Going in tomorrow to quit. I hate giving notice to places because I always feel bad. It is what is best for my family. I can't keep doing this to the kids. 

Looking up?

I am making some changes. First off I am quitting McDonalds. I love my job there but I need to be home with the family. I can work more at Walmart and make more. Second I am goin to start eating healthier. That's about it. I want to start loving my body again. 

So frustrated

I wish life wasn't so hard. I hate that we are poor. I hate how my life is. I just hate everything. 

It's Sunday

I told my family I didn't want to go to church but I was forced. So here I sit in the kids room watching the kids play when I would rather be sitting on the couch watching TV. I know that sounds terrible. But that is my mood today. I am

Stressed about tomorrow as I have too many things to do. I have a doctors appointment at 9:30 and then I work at McDonalds at 10. I also have to find time to vote. I hate being that busy and having things to do back to back. It stresses me out to much. My life is a mess and I hate it. I hate Terrace and I hate my life. I hate everything about it. Ok not everything but a lot of it. I hate feeling like this. It sucks. Maybe later I will feel better. I need to clean an organize my house and I need to be able to keep it like that. I just want to be normal. Church was boring. No message just a big promotion for some ministry with deaf people. The music was good though. I think I am just in a mood where I am not able to appreciate things like this. 

New meds

Well my new meds make me super angry all the time. This is the part about the meds I hate. Trying to find the right dose and med is hard and frustrating and sometimes a complete of money. Gah!! With the lower dose I had more panic attacks and with the larger doe I had less panic attacts but more aggression. It's like I can't win. My sex drive is a little better but not much. Grrrrrrr